Resources

2024-11-08

The Hidden Wounds: Understanding Trauma After Being Bullied at work

When we think of trauma, we often picture major life events or catastrophic circumstances. But trauma can also develop from experiences that chip away at us over time – known as CHRONIC TRAUMA (prolonged traumatic events) - like persistent bullying at work, especially when it comes from a boss or supervisor. If you’ve had a toxic work environment where someone has undermined you, controlled your every move, or made you feel “less than,” you’re not alone. Workplace bullying can leave emotional scars, shaking our confidence, security, and overall mental health. Understanding the emotional toll it takes is an important first step toward healing.

The Emotional Impact of a Toxic Boss

Workplace bullying can make us feel trapped, powerless, and anxious about the future. When someone in a position of authority consistently belittles or controls you, it erodes self-esteem, leading to a deep sense of self-doubt. Toxic bosses can exhibit a variety of damaging behaviours that make it hard to perform well and feel secure. Here are some common signs:

Constantly Changing Responsibilities: A toxic boss may assign you tasks only to reassign them or give conflicting instructions, then blame you for any perceived failure to deliver. This tactic not only confuses but also keeps you desperate to “catch up,” struggling to meet unrealistic and constantly shifting standards.

Manipulation and Confusion: By frequently changing expectations, a toxic boss keeps you feeling off-balance and vulnerable. Even if you bring up the inconsistencies, they may acknowledge it in the moment but keep repeating the behaviour. This cycle of acknowledgment and re-offending leaves you feeling helpless and stuck.

Physical and Emotional Stress: Many people with toxic bosses’ experience daily physical symptoms of stress, like a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach when coming to work or even small panic attacks when they see their boss. The continuous stress can be overwhelming, making each workday feel like an uphill battle.

Emotional Shaming and Public Humiliation: In toxic workplaces, any display of emotion, like crying or expressing frustration, can be met with criticism. A toxic boss may accuse you of being “too sensitive” or “weak” and then spend hours “teaching” you how to behave, only to bring up the incident later as a way of shaming you in front of others. This pattern of public shaming reinforces a cycle of fear, isolation, and self-doubt.

Feeling Powerless: With a boss in control, you may feel like you have no choice but to endure the bullying to keep your job. This power imbalance can make you feel “stuck” and incapable of standing up for yourself.

Fear of Job Loss: One of the most common effects of bullying is fear—fear of losing your job, being publicly humiliated, or being unfairly judged. When a toxic boss holds your livelihood in their hands, it’s natural to feel fearful and uncertain about your future.

Low Self-Esteem and Self-Doubt: After experiencing ongoing criticism and belittling, you may start to believe the negative things said about you. This can lead to low self-worth, self-doubt, and a persistent sense that you’re not good enough.

These tactics keep you in a constant state of stress and insecurity, affecting your ability to perform and undermining your confidence. It’s easy to internalize these experiences, carrying feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt into personal relationships and other aspects of life.

Breaking Free from a Toxic Workplace

When facing a toxic boss, setting boundaries or confiding in coworkers can be dangerous. In highly toxic environments, conversations shared with colleagues can be reported back to management and used against you, deepening the feelings of isolation and distrust. If you’re enduring bullying from your boss, often the best course of action is to consider leaving the job altogether. In South Africa, cases of extreme workplace stress have shown the tragic toll bullying can take—such as the heartbreaking case of the Standard Bank employee who felt so cornered by bullying that she took her own life.

This kind of trauma isn’t just a “bad day” at work; it can lead to severe mental health consequences, including depression, anxiety, and thoughts of suicide. Seeking external support from the CCMA (Commission for Conciliation, Mediation, and Arbitration) may be a critical step for those experiencing workplace abuse. Remember, protecting your well-being is not a sign of weakness; it’s an act of self-preservation. No job is worth risking your mental health, and leaving a toxic environment may be one of the most powerful ways to reclaim your peace and dignity.

Support from Rise Foundation

If you’re struggling with the effects of workplace bullying, remember that you don’t have to face it alone. At Rise Foundation, we provide confidential and anonymous support to help you process your experiences and guide you toward a path of healing. Whether you need someone to listen, practical advice, or resources to assist in your journey, we’re here to help. Your mental health and well-being matter and taking the first step to seek support can be empowering. At Rise Foundation, we’re dedicated to helping you turn pain into power.

To speak to someone, call or WhatsApp 075 052 2585